by Bakang Tshepo Moetse
Living in an era of hyper-commercialisation that is increasingly enabled by our access to information through the internet is, for many of us, incredibly overwhelming. So much so that it is little of a rare occurrence to find oneself both psychologically and financially fatigued from purchasing the new antidote for “problems” we never knew we had. It therefore not a secret that brands today have become highly adept at convincing us that the quality of life we desire is extrinsic, and cannot be attained in our own strength. As such, with the help of our favourite influencers, brands are have undertaken to persistently peddle their extrinsic “solutions” to us, for very many pretty pennies! Much to the dismay of our bank accounts, of course. One particularly prevalent example of this is the hyper-commercialisation of the self-care revolution.
Whilst there is absolutely nothing wrong with treating oneself, every now again, to an indulgent spa day, or a weekend of Netflix-binge-on-your-favourite-treats-and-chill, this form of self-care is often temporary and unsustainable. This is both in terms of the financial cost of purchasing it, as well as the limited benefit on our long-term quality of life. Moreover, the financial cost of this purchased self-care does not allow for it to be a recurring practise, without us going broke!
In light of this, I am coming to learn that self-care doesn’t always have to look luxurious for it to be impactful. In fact, sometimes self-care means doing uncomfortable things that will provide me with lasting peace of mind, and thus demonstrably improve my quality of life in a more meaningful way. What this kind of self-care looks like for me is:
- Setting boundaries pertaining to work, and communicating with colleagues that I am strictly unavailable outside of working hours, or that I cannot take on a particular task due to my capacity constraints. What this does is that it ensures I carve out me-time, and can allocate it to things that I want to do, such as rest, and not feel guilty about unanswered emails or incomplete tasks. Whilst it may be tough and uncomfortable to assert oneself in this way, in light of work politics, it is absolutely necessary for your wellness’ sake.
- Asking myself what the root cause of my anxiety is, and then journaling the thoughts and emotions that I uncover. Though far easier to ignore what I am feeling, and rather lose myself in a never-ending Netflix series; the discomfort proves worth it. Often, this exercise enables me to discern whether I am worrying about a non-existent problem, or alternatively, find a strategy to address an issue that may be imminent. In so doing, I am able to clear my mind and feel more at peace and in control.
- Managing my procrastination. As a fully-fledged citizen of procrastination nation, I am progressively learning to analyse the underlying causes of my procrastination, and address them head-on. For example, sometimes I procrastinate simply because I am bored by whatever mundane task I must do. Once I realise that this is the case, I make a plan to either change my scenery, or play some catchy tunes to coax me through the work, and voila – boring task gets done! Given that procrastination later often fuels my anxiety, doing this produces incredibly tangible and sustained positive benefits for my mental health.
Thankfully, these uncomfortable tips are not the only budget friendly means of caring for yourself (and thank goodness because that would be extremely sad and deflating!) A great balance I have found is in pairing the above with simple and inexpensive activities that bring me genuine joy, and don’t require much planning or fuss. For me this includes, having a spontaneous solo dance party in my living room, going for a walk in the park nearby to enjoy nature, listening to a podcast while I have my post-gym coffee, or catching up with a friend. All these little things bring me into a feeling of lightness and gratitude for life – they genuinely make my soul sing. Further, because I enjoy them so much, they also remind me that I am worthy and deserving of ease, and of rest, and of care and of joy. They remind me that my life is my own, to fill with all the things I derive contentment from, as opposed to others’ demands and expectations of me.
Having read this, it is my hope that you would intentionally commit to making yourself, and your self-care, more of a priority. Take some time to ask yourself the following:
- What are the hard things that I need to do today that can create ease for future me?
- What are some simple things that bring me joy that I can incorporate into my daily or weekly schedule?What are some ways that I can be
- kinder to myself as I go about my day?
I wish you all the luck on your journey to a deeper and more lasting kind of self-care. May you always remember that you are worth your own effort and investment.
